I'm self employed, seasonal, and my job requires me to travel a lot and I have just returned to school.?My father has passed and my mother, 82 years young in May, lives with me. She has Alzheimer's and as expected it's progressing. Lately there are problems leaving her home alone. I have a nephew whom assist some/very little even though I offer to what I can but he is unreliable. Private care runs any where from $ 15 - $ 25 per hour and I can't afford that. But the alternative looks as though I will have to dropout of school. Of course, the alternative would be to put her in a home, which I deplore. Some many children grow up and become self absorbed and ungrateful, I just don't want to be that! My parents took care of there parents when that time came. Generally, in the past, black people always did take care of their own, if not for personal reasons, for financial ones, so I know this is common place, it just the mental hardship and sacrifice that comes with this. How do I cope? And where do I get help? Brother and sister older but worthless, both mentally and financially. They make no contribution to me or the world. Brother on drugs, sister crazy. Other family members unreliable. Most of the support I have are in denial of the disease and ignorant of the many other medical conditions she has, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney disease, arthritis, ulcers, chronic back pain because of deteriorating disk, and refuse to pay attention when I try to explain, so when they do give me a so called break, when problems arise they have to call me long distance for help. That is because I don't live near and family except my nephew. After getting the calls, then I am worried, so in affect I get no break or rest! what do I do?
Posted by Stacey T
Get on the phone.
There are agencies that help provide payment for elderly home care.
Call your local department of social services.
Call local nursing homes and ask to speak to a social worker.
There is help out there.
You need and deserve breaks.
GOOD LUCK and God Bless.
Posted by Charma
You should look into your governments health and ageing department to see if your mum qualifies for any benefits regarding in house care. Does your mum have a pension?
I think you're a really good person by taking on the responsibility of taking care of your mum and not sticking her in a nursing home.
My parents aren't elderly yet but I know when the time comes I too will be taking care of them.
Growing up I had both of my grandmothers living in our home until they passed away. Even as a child I saw how hard it was on my parents and from what I remember, They didn't have any help from their siblings either and they managed to make it work. Holding down full time jobs with a mortgage to pay, raising 4 children and caring for an elderly parent.
Thanks to my parents I have fond memories of my grandmothers, One I remember is being 7 or 8 and being allowed to take my nan to the park by myself, Hehe, I dressed her up, Wrapped her in a blanket and pushed her out the door in her wheel-chair. I remember letting her roll down the hill screaming at me while I laughed at the top of the hill and then I had to quickly chase after the wheel-chair before she went flying into the ditch. LOL. Also on that day I took her to the local skate park and pushed her around the bowls and the ramps while all the other kids looked on, She got rather embarrassed when I couldn't push her back up the bowl and I has to ask all the skate kids to come and help me push her back up LOL, She got angry and insisted I take her home immediately...
The point i'm trying to make is, Moments like these are priceless and are worth all the sacrifices my parents made.
It's not easy but if you can, try and hold on to your mum for as long as you can.
All the best :)
Posted by Hyderabad C
check out this link for eldercare services. You might find something called "caregiver respite" in your area. There are many in our generation who are in a bind similar to yours so services geared to those needs have cropped up lately.
http://seniorliving.about.com/od/agerelateddisabilities/a/eldercarelocate.htm
Hope this works out. Good luck :)
Orignal From: Kidney Disease: I'm self employed, seasonal, and my job requires me to travel a lot and I have just returned to school.?
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