Should We Adopt A Child?My husband and I have been married for two years and we have a wonderful daughter who is six months old. We are both 22 and my husband is joining the Airforce. I want to have more children but we recently found out that i have a genetic disease called polycystic Kidney disease apparently my grandmother gave it to my father who just had a transplant so i got checked out and found out there is a 50% chance that i passed it on to my daughter. My husband is very concerned about passing the disease on and so am I so we have been discussing adoption. My only concern with adoption though is that is will be stressfull for all people involved and it might be hard for my husband to connect with an adopted child while he is in the military and goes on active duty constantly. Plus I will most likely be left alone for alot of the time with the new child as well so I will have to adjust by myself on how to raise two children instead of just one with out my husbands help.
Not to mention if we do adopt we want to adopt someone around the age of 4 so there will be more of a attachment needed for the childs adjustment.
Does anyone think that it sounds like a good idea for our family to adopt and if so how would i apply the attention needed to my new child without depriving my daughter.
Posted by Rosie
No. You should treasure the child you have and live a long and happy life as it is now, with the one child. It is enough for your family.
Posted by kianiboo
my boyfriend is adopted. he is thankful for his adoptive parents. he might not love them like he would his own parents but they do a lot for him. i say you should do it (:
good luck !
Posted by kettiana
I would really think about it because adoption is a long term commitment.
a lot of people adopt and end up leaving the kids to fend for themselves. That's no way to say you want to help people. I wouldn't adopt a kid if you are someone that gets upset and find it hard to forgive people because i don't think adoptive parents are able to see adoptive children like their own kids really. like you said, "if so how would i apply the attention needed to my new child without depriving my daughter."
that just does not sound right because you sould be giving them equal amount of attention. i'm glad that you are talking about it though before making any decisions.
I have to tell you,
it doesn't matter how old the kids are. the momment they know that they are adopted it will make things hard.
I'm really young and all and have considered adopting but uhh being adopted myself, i don't know that it's the best thing to do. really, i think i want to do it because i want to do the things that my adoptive parents did wrong right but uhh i think it would be way better to directly sponsor a child than adopting them.
I say this because i know from experience that my parents gave me up because they couldn't pay to take care of me. I was taken from a hot climate and brought to the US and its very different. cold. i;ve developed many issues because of the cold because my great great grandparents were born and raised in Haiti where it's hot year round and im not able to produce enough heat to keep warm in the winter. that's just my experience.
all situations are unique. i'm sure that you are capable of making life great for a child but you should really read as many books as you can find before making a final decision, especially considering the fact that your husband won't even be around a lot.
anyway,
wahtever decision you make, i'm sure it will be fine. but remember, where do you want to adopt from? because taking kids out of their natural habitat would be something like trying to raise a lion inside a house.
I don't mean to discourage you or anything, keep asking questions and hopefully it will work out.
Posted by Mel
Since you have a 6 month old take your time since you have a new baby. And if you and your husband still want to choose adoption contact your states foster care agency and try the foster to adopt route. And if you have a great case worker (some are not very great) they will be a great support system. And as for your husband I would suggest just like with any other child that when he is home enjoy your time together as a family so the kids are excited to see him when he comes home and not shy or uncomfortable. I do commend you and your husband wishing to adopt an older child instead of a baby. There are alot of non infant children that are waiting for "forever" homes.
Posted by LinnyG
No. Most adopted children have special emotional needs and you should NOT adopt out of birth order. Concentrate on being a healthy Mom for your daughter. It wouldnt be fair to an adoptive child if you got sick, especially if your husband is always gone. Not a good idea at all.
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